


The Beauty In Dust

by angelofgrief



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-08 23:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/767422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofgrief/pseuds/angelofgrief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony has no idea what to do now. He's lost almost every single connection he's ever had and he searches for a purpose. Saving people isn't enough anymore and it's different now.</p><p>[ AU / ON HOLD ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beauty In Dust

**Author's Note:**

> **ON HOLD**
> 
>  
> 
> AU: What if the Avengers never came to be? What if it was because of Tony, because of his personality?
> 
> I originally wanted this to be post-apocalyptic but decided against this. If you want a better summary, it's Tony trying to find a reason to live. There are no suicidal mentions because he doesn't want to die either but he feels like he has no other way to live. It is about him losing all his connections with others and rebuilding them again.
> 
> Tell me how this goes because I might continue it if people like it. It was suppose to be really short too but nope.

They never got back together after that incident in New York. It's been three years since it happened and nothing. One would think that because they all wanted to save the world, save its people, that everything would be okay.

It wasn't.

Tony stopped trusting Natasha— SHIELD spy, former secratary of his company, mysterious, dangerous, the works. The same with Clint; it was more of boy genius vs trained assassin ninja deal. Thor was an alien disguised as a Norse God; he had places to be and his home was definitely not here on Earth (plus, he had Loki to take care of). Bruce and him were close, closer than most of the relationships he had with the others, but Bruce wanted to go back. He lives for peace and he still lives in fear to this day. Steve Rogers, aka the Captain America, was a different story. They were like ice and fire, constantly burning each other up, attacking, pulling each other down. Sure, Steve gave props to Tony for saving the world but their personalities were far too different for each other. Pity, considering what a team they made.

After the incident, he rebuilt the Stark Tower with Pepper by his side. But soon, even she got tired. Tony was constantly making new adjustments to the suit (hell, even making new suits), building faster rockets, better weaponary, improving technology, everything. He was doing everything and he was dying inside. So Pepper— Virginia, stopped trying to make him feel better.

She's still head of the company.

She still cares, just not enough anymore.

Rhodey's busy too. He's an army general at the side of the President; he doesn't need him. But he'll check up, yell at him, drag him out for a night out, yell at him some more and sometimes stays over to watch reruns or old movies that Tony hates but in reality, enjoys.

Now, Tony lives at the Tower by himself. Javis is there but even he knows that Jarvis isn't real— the real Jarvis died a long time ago. Jarvis still tells him to eat, shuts off most of the electricity when he needs sleep, even goes as far as sets alarms for showers and other things. He doesn't like it but sometimes, he does. So he messes around with Jarvis' interface and changes it so he doesn't have to care for him. He doesn't have to— he can just be like regular computers and tell him what time it is and help him Google things. The next day, his entire house restarted and Jarvis came back.

It seems that Jarvis knew Tony would do it sooner or later so he installed a backup hidden from Tony. It was a first time in forever that Tony broke down and cried.

Suddenly, he's regretting everything and suddenly, he's scared of everything. Because everything was his fault: he never tried, he always assumed. He never branched out to accept those wanting to be at his side. It's alright though. Tony's been through worst before so this shouldn't change anything. Except it does.

During one of his alarms to eat, he goes up to the kitchen (his workshop is at the basement) and makes a simple sandwich for himself. Nothng too fancy: ham, turkey, lettuce, tomatoes, banana peppers, and mayo. He sits at the table instead of going back to work and askes Jarvis to play something for him to pass the time. It's 1:39 in the morning and he doesn't feel like sleeping yet. Jarvis plays those old, black-and-white reels. Tony smirks; he knows that he's doing this on purpose— Tony hates black-and-white movies.

It's a new one (how ironic, it's an old movie reel) so Tony had no idea what to expect. Maybe he should've expected Captain America in all his glory. It looks like an attempt of a biography of his life: the life of Captain America. Tony is half in his mind to make it stop and just start destroying stuff downstairs. But the reel goes to a part where Steve is looking at a woman talking on a stage. It's a pretty, young things who holds herself tall and proud with beautiful brunette hair and eyes that light up with passion. And Steve is looking straight at her, a small shy smile on his face and eyes that look like kids looking at the nighttime sky.

He gets a little mad, then he gets confused and suddenly, he's melancholic. His mind tracks back to everyone in the 'Avengers'. Bruce, for such a huge temper, was the smartest of them all yet he was so shy. Natasha, even with killer instincts, had a beauty like Aphrodite and even showed a sense of humor or happines once in a while. Clint was funny and that was enough for him (especially with his sense of humor). Thor was, in a sense, adorable. His thirst of 'Midgardian' toys and foods, their sense of beauty and power, everything. He thinks about Pepper and Rhodey too and all the fun times they had.

By the end of the movie, he's laughing quietly in the kitchen with teary eyes and a half-eaten sandwich. Jarvis is an asshole but he's an even more asshole. He looks up to see the end and there's Steve smiling away at the camera and for a split second, he feels like he's smiling back at him. Maybe he's always wanted someone to look at him like he's amazing. Then again, maybe he **needed** someone to just look at him.

_Just once, just once, please._

**xXx**

Three bombs set off in Oakland, California. Ironman saves everyone— this term is used loosely. He's happy to report that no one is severly hurt and no one dies but still, there's blood covering the concrete sidewalk and tarred streets. The buildings have all but collasped and if there's a god out there, he's thankful the explosions weren't too big. He takes down the bombers (innocent, young adults who wanted some attention) and it's a good day.

Three more bombs set off. This time in Midtown Manhatten.

Jarvis links him up in his helmet— he finds out on the news. It's still the same though; no one is hurt and the police authority managed to evacuate the area before the explosions went off. He hears cheers, people thanking the Captain America (he half expected him to come and half didn't) and hands pointing towards the sky. Except, it's not the sky that they're pointing at.

Stark Tower: that's what they were pointing at.

The three explosions, apparently bigger than the ones in California, were focused on Stark Tower. His tower is almost completely destroyed, devestated. Even though he redesigned it to withstand explosions and other extraterrestial attacks, it still was close to ruins. The logo fell on the street and broke into six to eight huge pieces. The left side of the tower is completely gone, with only one pipeline sticking out. The front of the building has shattered windows and bent metal sticking out. The right side is the only side that seems stable enough but still, it's close to gone.

Tony doesn't land on his balcony where his armor would be taken apart. He lands behind the building and sees various holes in to; some where he can see the hallway and one where he could see the inside of the living room. He flies into the hole that has the living room open to the world. Electricity is out and the sun's the only thing that's lighting up the room.  
It's a bright and sunny day.

He takes off his helmet and sits cross-legged on the floor, staring past the cracked windows and into the streets. Light is coming from the side of him and he can see the dust in the air. For a moment there, he thought he saw something beautiful in the dust. But he was wrong. In the dust that floated around in front of his eyes, he saw emptiness. In the dust, he saw hope. In the dust, he saw happiness.

"Stark?"

The voice catches him offguard, almost assuming that it was the dust speaking to him. But he realizes who it is and has to stop himself from putting the helmet back on. Standing up, he turns around to see Steve in full uniform. He's not wearing his hood/mask so he's kind of glad that he didn't put on his helmet.

"Ah... thanks for, you know, evacuating them. California had bombs too,"

The air is awkward around them but, it doesn't feel awkward, just disconnected. Steve takes a look around, his brows furrow a bit. Tony knows what he is thinking and hopes he's wrong about it.

"If you want," he starts, "you can stay with me for a while. Just until this place is cleaned up,"

It is exactly what Tony expected. Maybe if he was in a good mood, he'd snark his offer off. Maybe if he was still Tony Stark, he'd just fly off and pretend that he can do everything— hell, he can fix this by himself. He has tons of beach houses in various countries and he doesn't need to stay with Steve. He can live with Rhodey and annoy the hell out of him, he can rent out hotels and live life good, he can even buy a normal house and just pimp it out. There are so many options out there. So, he decides to tell Steve no.

"I mean, if that's alright with you," he has no idea what he is saying right now.

"I-I.. Sure, really it's fine," Steve smiles a bit and Tony nods his head.

Really, he has no idea why he agreed. Like he said, there are options. He blames the dust. The dust did it. Tony puts on his helmet and walks to Steve, leaving the dust in the sun behind him.


End file.
